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I've always been a fan of the word "grab. Grabbing a guy's ass, during coitus, is a many-layered action. Depending on location, severity, and tone, it can say everything from "I think your wee bum is cuter than a seal-pup," to "I want you to enter me like a smart-bomb into a bunker. Let's focus on the latter kind, the kind that takes during sex. This is not a pinch, it is not a "I like you, honk honk," like he does to your boobs when you come out of the shower. This is an "eff me hard" or "I want you inside me" squeeze that is both an act of encouragement, and act of lust, an act of love, and an act of control potentially; you can use your grabbing like a joystick, or steering wheel, for angles and tension. That said, you're not trying to cause bruising. Grab as hard as you like, but aim for the kind of tension you'd apply to a sticky doorknob; not doing chinups or holding on to dear life from a window ledge. If your fella is the gentle sort, he may need to get told to get his grabbery going. And this doesn't have to be un-sexy.
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From men that have anal sex with their wives, to guys that try it early on in the dating session, these stories capture the essence of the sex act.
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Sign up for our newsletters Subscribe. Questions are submitted on index cards at SLL events, which allows questioners to remain anonymous and forces them to be succinct. The crowd at Radford was large and inquisitive.
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Preparing for anal fingering as the receiver

Thinking of experimenting with anal play, or perhaps your partner has suggested you give it a try? Done safely, anal play with fingers and sex toys can be very pleasurable for men, women and people of all genders and sexualities. So why might someone want to try anal fingering? Anal stimulation has the potential to be pleasurable for anyone who has an anus, but for men and people with penises, it can be especially enjoyable thanks to the prostate or P-spot. And as Knight points out, as well as feeling comfortable, you should both be excited and enthusiastic about exploring anal fingering. The anus needs a little more care than fingering a vagina, Knight explains. To prepare, the giving partner should always:. Knight says it is by no means necessary to do this, but it can help ease the mind of the giver and receiver. As well as feeling comfortable, you should both be excited and enthusiastic about exploring anal fingering. The risk of mess with anal fingering is extremely low, especially if you follow this expert advice.
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Is it really worth it to give up what I want out of a relationship because its hard to balance studying which I understand is stressful and being with the person who makes you happy. There are such things as perfect loving families though. This is how I felt when I married my exmo husband. It all depends on the girl. Basically this is different than dating a religious mainstream Christian. My husband and I have been together since we were year-olds at university trying to figure out where we stood with the faiths we had grown up in. I have had more than one girl, who I had definite chemsitry with, who the girl really liked me and we had deep and intense conversations as well as a real physichal connection to. Is it wrong to make those types of sacrifices. In her obviously orthodox Mormon paradigm dad's a bishop, she went to BYU and on a missionunderstand that she believes her husband must be an orthodox Mormon and get married to her in the temple. There will be pressure to go to church, marry in the temple, Yada Yada You will want to make sure you're ready to battle this for years, maybe a lifetime.

Sign up for our newsletters Subscribe. Questions are submitted on index cards at SLL events, which allows questioners to remain anonymous and forces them to be succinct. The crowd at Radford was large and inquisitive. The students submitted more questions than I could possibly hope to answer in two hours—and Radford students also managed to stump me.

I promised the crowd that I would get answers for the two stumpers and answer as many of their other questions as I could in this week's column. And here we go. AYes, totally. Nothing to worry about. This happens to all guys.

That's why they make men's underwear out of cotton, dude. AWhy do all the guys only go for the beautiful girls who only go for assholes? You might want to skip the next question. More Savage Love :. What happened to the early, funny Savage Love columnist? QI really like this guy and I know he likes me, but he is so unapproachable! He always seems to be pissed off about something.

How can I get his attention without practically throwing myself at him? ASomeone who knows you're interested in him and who's genuinely interested in you but who affects an unapproachable, pissed-off demeanor is a game-playing douchebag, and game-playing douchebags are lousy boyfriend material. Surely there are some attractive guys on your campus—guys you like, guys who like you—who aren't grumpy, game-playing assholes. You know, nice guys. Maybe you could date one of them?

AThis is one of the two questions that stumped me. I promised to get an answer, and here it is: "As long as this isn't a thinly veiled necrophilia question, the answer is no," says Caitlin Doughty, a mortician, founder of the Order of the Good Death, and the star of the popular, hilarious, and informative "Ask a Mortician" YouTube video series.

Thankfully, that's now considered wildly unethical and incorrect. Unless you're an embalmer or coroner and dealing closely with all manner of fresh corpse fluids, there should be almost zero risk to you. It's generally OK to make your own choices and live your own life. QShould I not have sex with my best friend's baby daddy even though he was my boyfriend before he was hers and we were about to get back together before I found out my best friend was pregnant?

ABecause the angle of penetration provides them with the direct, intense clitoral stimulation they need to get off. QDo you have any advice for non-openly-gay people at a school where gays are almost nonexistent? ARecognize that you're part of the problem. The non-openly-gay people at your school—you and the other closeted gays—create a negative nonexistence feedback loop. You don't come out because no one's out, and no one comes out because you're not out.

My advice: If you're in a position to come out, come out. If you're not in a position to come out, make plans to get to a place where you can come out.

AUm, sure, but only if someone else came in it first—and no one should be coming in your butt without a condom on his dick. AYou don't. Hopefully this will lead to someone getting better at sex over a few months. If someone doesn't get better at sex in that time frame, well, then someone either is incapable of getting better at sex or doesn't care that you're unhappy with the sex, and it's time to dump someone. AAnother stumper, another guest expert: "Wet folds are a great place for yeast to grow," says Dr. Anna Kaminski, associate medical director for Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest, "especially if other things are a little out of balance.

For example, a woman might be more prone to yeast infections due to other things in the vagina—spermicide, blood, antibiotic-induced changes in vaginal pH balance, or hormonal changes. But mouths are really good at keeping yeast in check. So it would be unusual for a person to get a yeast infection orally—unless you suffer from something that predisposes you to oral yeast infections, e.

QIf a guy asks a girl if she wants to have anal sex, is he curious about gay sex? QWhat does it mean when you're a girl and the guy you're hooking up with keeps introducing you to his best girl friends? QI'm a guy who does not find guys physically attractive.

Even so, I like to give and receive blow jobs with men. Does this mean anything about my sexual orientation? QI've always considered myself a lesbian, but a few weeks ago, I got really drunk and slept with one of my male best friends. Am I not a lesbian?

AFemale sexuality is a lot more fluid, as they say, and many lesbian-identified women have slept with men. Your sexuality identity—the label you choose to apply to yourself—should communicate the essential truth about your sexual interests and partner preferences. So you're free to identify as a lesbian even if you slip and fall on the occasional dick. Every dollar you give helps fund the experienced, diverse journalists and editors producing the Reader.

Because the media landscape has changed, your support makes everything we do possible. Please give what you can to help keep journalism independent and thriving in Chicago. The Reader : We speak Chicago to Chicagoans. Choose your monthly contribution level:. Tags: Savage Love , sneeze coming , dry humping , douchebags , AIDS , STIs , necrophilia , baby daddies , orgasms , closeted gays , yeast infections , threesomes , blow jobs. Showing 1- 19 of Add a comment.

Switch to the mobile version of this page. The Chicago Reader. QWhen I sneeze, I ejaculate. Is this normal? QWhy do all the beautiful girls only go for guys who are assholes? You Make Things Happen Every dollar you give helps fund the experienced, diverse journalists and editors producing the Reader. Related Stories. Comments Showing 1- 19 of 19 Add a comment. Subscribe to this thread:. By Email. With RSS. More by Dan Savage. Agenda Teaser Popular Stories Read.

Savage Love. And can another straight guy ethically refuse to give a blow job during a threesome? By Dan Savage On Politics. Centrist Dems are using the election to scare voters away from Bernie. By Ben Joravsky On Media. In getting a new liver, I consider myself fortunate in one small respect in addition to the obvious big one. By Michael Miner The party is using different tools to achieve the same goal as —sidelining Sanders.

By Leonard C. Goodman



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