You're stressed out ugh, work! What's a girl to do? Masturbate, of course! For starters, it doesn't just feel good—solo play is legit good for you. In other words, you should probably consider adding it to your self-care Sunday routine, stat. Beyond that, a solid solo session is crazy-good for your sex life in all sorts of ways.
For one, it may help you get more comfortable in bed. And if you bring your S. Now, all that good stuff said, the only problem is not knowing how to start to guarantee a better finish. It's not like pleasuring yourself was covered in sex ed, and your parents certainly didn't include female masturbation in The Talk.
Of course, there's no right or wrong way to masturbate to each vagina her own! Let's begin. Before you can "rock your body" Justin Timberlake—style, you first have to know your body. I know you're probably thinking, Duh! Brito recommends beginning your investigation the old-fashioned way: with a hand-held mirror. For many women, the clit—home to some 15,!
That is, once you find it easier said than done—just ask your ex. From the outside, all you'll be able to see is the clitoral hood—a flap of skin that retracts during sexual arousal—and the glans clitoris, a little button-like nub. But that's only the tip of the orgasmic iceberg. Here's what's going on under the hood:. Those are the clitoris' "legs"—they're anywhere from 2.
Once you finish your mini sex-ed lesson, Brito encourages you to "touch gently and, with curiosity, label the parts that feel most sensitive, arousing, ticklish, and uncomfortable. You light candles, break out the good lingerie, and put on your fave sex playlist when you're about to get it on with another person, so why not put in the same amount of effort when it's DIY time?
You should, says Brito. After all, it's kinda hard to feel sexy if your room's covered in month-old laundry and yesterday's Chinese food containers no matter how good they might still smell. Plus, Marie Kondo—ing your space can help clear your mind, giving you more room to focus on identifying what feels pleasurable and, consequently, increasing your chances of having that big O, Brito says.
Masturbation is "me time"—plain and simple. So do your best to pretend the outside world doesn't exist buh-bye, phone and tune into what's going on inside your bod. Instead, she suggests "paying attention to sensations"—not unlike how you pay attention to your breath when meditating.
That's because using your mind to zero in on the pleasure can seriously enhance your orgasm. And that's, ya know, kinda the whole point. This one might seem obvious, but so many people skip it.
Locking your door, even if you're home alone, can help you focus on play time by clearing your brain of any worry of someone barging in. Sometimes that's all your mind really needs to get centered. Curious about how men and women both feel about rubbing one out? Check this out:.
Everyone has hangups that make them feel lesser-than when it comes to their bodies. Let that ish go, especially when you're masturbating! Focus on the sensuality of your curves and how capable your body is of pleasure, rather than dwelling on parts you're not totally satisfied with like, say, your stomach. Research has linked having a positive body image with sexual satisfaction, so do yourself a favor and love your body so you can, ya know, love your body.
It also doesn't have to be about whips and chains or whatever you might've read in erotic novels or seen in porn, unless that's what you're into. So just let your imagination run wild and see where it takes you. Some women even fantasize about being with another woman or a girl-on-girl sexual scene, Millheiser says. That's totally normal—and tbh, not that surprising, considering many straight women get off to lesbian porn. FWIW, if you're a lesbian and you masturbate thinking of a man, that's normal, too. If your imagination just isn't cutting it no worries , there's no reason not to break out the big guns: porn, a sexy movie Sometimes the best way to beat distractions is to give yourself a direct scene to watch or pretend you're involved in.
Men do it Lube is great for sex, so yep, it also comes in handy for masturbation see what I did there? That's especially true if you're on birth control Pills, which can cause vaginal dryness, Millheiser says. FYI: Getting wet is a pretty important part of masturbating because "it makes stimulating your genitals much more comfortable. Don't believe me? One study found that 50 percent of people said lube made it easier for them to orgasm. If dryness is a legit issue for you and you're not using a silicone sex toy, try silicone-based lubes, which last longer and reduce friction, Millheiser says.
But if you're just looking for a little extra wetness for more fun—or have a silicone vibe—stick to a water-based formula. It won't break down your buzzing friend. From there, you can build up the sensation in other ways more on that in a sec.
You switch positions in sex, so why not when you masturbate, too? Some people like to rub their clit against the bed, while others like to lay on their backs. Some like to keep their knees bent; others like to splay their legs out straight, and others still like to lift their legs into a V-shape.
It doesn't matter what your personal taste is—but you won't know until you move around. Just because you're alone doesn't mean masturbation should be boring. To avoid falling into that trap, be cool with trying something new. Always on your back? Turn over. Always use your hands? Try a toy. Always in bed? Hop into a chair. The options are endless.
A hand-held shower head might just become your new BFF. According to Millheiser, many women reach orgasm by pointing the stream of water onto their clitoris. If you've just pulled into the self-service station, you might as well try penetrative masturbation—using your fingers, a dildo, or a phallic-shaped vibrator—to see if you like it. If you don't, nbd, you're still one step closer to knowing what you do like. The modern vibe is pretty much the best thing since sliced bread better, even. These days, most vibrators are specifically made to give you that clitoral stimulation you crave.
From bullet vibrators to magic wands that, yes, live up to the name , there are a ton of options out there for you to try. Toys are fun—especially ones that bring a different kind of pleasure to the party. There's such a thing as oral-sex simulators, and they're, well, AH-mazing. There's the Womanizer , which Millheiser suggests for women who are on the shier side. It gently pulls an orgasm out of you. There's also the Lelo Sona Cruise 2, which also mimics cunnilingus but has an extra-cool feature where the suction gets more intense when you press the vibe harder into your skin.
As tempting as it may be to make your toy do all the heavy lifting, especially when you're tired and masturbating to conk out before bed, try to get your body into it. Rock your hips to the rhythm of the vibration, or move your pelvis in a circular, 8-style motion.
Doing so will help you stay present and maximize all the sensations you're feeling. One study found that women get handsy with a solo session at least once a week—but you deserve a second helping or more.
Because as one Women's Health writer learned : Rhe more you masturbate, the more you want to masturbate. Bonus: She found it puts you in a good mood and helps you sleep better , too. And unlike a relaxing body massage, it does all that Translation: Combining stimulation from multiple erogenous zones e. You don't even have to head downtown.
You can actually orgasm from touching your nipples and stimulating your anus , or maybe via one hand on your breast and one inside you. All the more reason to get creative Unlike P-in-the-V sex, which can start to get uncomfortable after a while, touching yourself could easily be an all-day affair, if you want to make it one a la Samantha Jones.
Let yourself take as much time as you need to move your fingers, switch positions, edge—all that good stuff above—because this is all about you. Don't rush it. Wise says the most important part of masturbation is simply to "savor the sensation" and not set out with the intention of orgasm.
Remember the tip about focusing with your mind? Sorta like with actual sex and relationships, it's best not to go into masturbating with any expectations—even achieving orgasm—because that can make you feel anxious, says Brito.