Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Ally Ann. Follow Message Block. Stream Latest Popular A - Z. Ally Ann Sep Losing What Was Never Mine. I have a heavy kind of sorrow from losing something that was never mine to lose, mind straying to what could have been haphazardly dreaming about scenarios that were never meant to be, bending to the will of some unknown force that lives inside me and aches for the world to be different than it was when I ran from the words that haunt me at night and I am wracked with guilt for hurting those who only wanted the best for me, letting my stuttering heart decide what what would make up the rest of me, even as I am drowning in the ocean it put me in, this sorrow keeps breaking me repeatedly screaming what I may have done wrong and I am chained to my body losing something over and over again that I have no right to mourn.
Continue reading Ally Ann Jul They do not tell you that you will look the same as you did last year and last week but you will feel like the world shifted a few inches overnight not telling you that it was going to do so, but leaving you to pick up the pieces of the memories it left as it moved, you will grow to understand that some things will never make sense no matter how much you shake your fist at God and cry into your mother's shoulder, they do not tell you that you will not always be able to cry into your mother's shoulder or call your dad when your car breaks down or feel comfortable in the places that used to make your eyelids relax into peaceful sleep, they are too busy learning these things themselves that they forget to tell you the things you wish you knew before it was too late.
How Do I Heal. How do I heal without the memories splitting my skull, breaking free from the prison I put them in to protect myself from me. Ally Ann May I Wrote to You, but Nothing Changed. I wrote to you in hopes that it would help me forgive myself, so I could stop cutting down the flowers that grew from my veins, watering them with cyanide and still crying when they died.
Ally Ann Apr The Death of My Anger. I woke up to the death of my anger, It crawled out of my chest loose teeth and twisted bones that never stopped hating the world that made it. It took my breath with it, familiarity gone as I became new, someone who felt alive in place of the pain that rested on my chest at night.
I woke up to the death of my anger and I have slept better since. Notre Dame. My body is made of flammable stone a paradox in its own birth a wooden crown atop goddesses in dressing gowns sleeping to the sound of fire burning me to the ground. I am swaying with the tears of my mother hitting silently as they fall, everything that made me special also put me up in flames. Ally Ann Mar An Addict. I breathe in sadness like an addict who has only been clean long enough to know how much it hurts to lose what once made you feel more than you had in years each sigh brings me deeper drowning under the pain until all I can remember the next day is the smell of my tears on my pillowcase and how much my bones ached under the idea that I would never be clean again looking for my next escape as soon as the weight eased off of my veins and let some of the light in that burned my throat as it tried to bring me out I am what I vowed not to be, an addict to my own sadness.